I'm watching the disney channel right now....
Remember when it was a pay channel?
You could only see it if your parents thought it was a good investment, if they knew you'd watch it enough or if only they could afford it.
Shit, this was gonna be some random randomness about childhood and now I'm thinking of musing on many different points.
It's just not simple enough anymore. I kinda like it tho. Nice trade-offs going on here.
Hehe, it's Stanley!
It's the great big book of everything! with everything inside! It's the great big book of everything and it will be our guide!
Originally, I was responding to an in-between segment where a girl tells about something specific. It was her bindi collection.
After being in a group home and becoming an adult, the agency had an option of sticking with them and getting individual and group therapy. Both of these involved going on outings occasionally and addressing personal and social issues. I actually was part of this group before my exit from the group home and got to leave on these outings here and there.
This one time I went on a group trip to Point Reyes. There wasn't a single person I was to interact with that I felt unsafe with. It was always a pleasant outing. It was required that someone not have serious behavioral problems that included violence, threats, intimidation or problems with authority. I may have had some impulse and self-control stuff goin' on, but I was nothing like my tormentors, so it was great to have a reprieve from the group home and especially their isolated school.
This trip was awesome! I had my trusty camera with me the whole way! Man, I miss the days when I would carry one everywhere I went, even to the exclusion of all else. Two different polaroids of the regular sort, to a 35mm polaroid. And then there was the digital stuff! Oh wow, I took so damned many pictures that day.... I even walked my fat ass down the longest set of stairs I've ever seen just to see a lighthouse up-close! Of course I took pictures! We walked and walked and walked to see what we could see, and I got so many angles and views of the ocean and beach and all the cliffs and naturey stuffs!
Ooh!, I played the banana game!
No silly, it's disney stuff!
So yeah, I love taking pictures and I seriously need to take it up again. What I love just as much is seeing the ocean, going to exciting new places, talking to strangers, finding out something new to me, exploring whatever I can, gettin' moving, sharing fun times and discovering something special within myself.
So that trip really stands out in my mind, and I've often wished I could grab up someone that I think is awesome and who enjoys doing this stuff as much as I do and just jettin' it out to a whole new place for us. Or sharing something one of us has seen and be the tour guide and maybe even see it in another way.
At the beginning of that trip to Point Reyes something very special happened to me that touched me deeply for so long, and even finds it's way to my heart even now, depite what I've lost of it's physical keepsakes. For many in this jaded, rushed, irritated and judgmental world, what I fell for at first sight would be met with disgust. Funny how my heart melts at some of these sights.
After winding our way(the group and I) up a trail to the first signs of sand, I could immediately hear the sounds of a drum. The ocean kissed air carressed my face and I felt this feeling. It's both a unique experience each time, but you can still say it's familiar in a way. That soul filling flush. My senses were coming alive with each step. It's no wonder, there were so many things to feel!
So many times, I feel awkward and the moment is jagged, not fluid as I want it to be. This was one of those times where it went off just right in all my ways. Not to say that these are few and far between, just that I experience both ends with such great notariety and appreciete them both for what they are.
So this event transpired with all my segments working in tandem with my surroundings for a most interesting product. I found myself drawn to the older woman with her leathery skin drum that sounded so much like the heart beat of an earthen creature. Her companion exuded even more beauty, pouring it forth like a melody of knowledge to my heart.
They and I connected as if through a fissure in time and space...No, even farther than that, which I cannot even begin to describe. You know how they say "I remember it like it was yesterday" or "I can still feel it now"? Well this is a "horse of a different color". No part of my being could possibly replicate this moment as it was, nor would I defile what is so precious to me with such a desire.
I was captivated, and something within me came awake, that for a time had been hiding.... That aspect seemed to be so deeply tapped that day that it hid again for some years. These days, I'm happy to say, it's very awake.
We breifly spoke....She asked me if I could guess where her peice of amber came from. She told me I guessed right and that it was meant to go with me. This awesome lady with the drumming companion wore a designer stick-on bindi from India and I just had to complement her on it. She gave me several packages of them to take home with me! Oh, I was so blessed. I feel all syrupy and close to tears right now...maybe there's a little bit of what I felt left in me.
Certain things can bring a person so much light, love, self-empowerment, content & comfort.
Oh wow, another fantastical short, courtesy of the Disney channel!
A little song thing about steam trains. hells yeah!
Hmm, I started with a short.... I ought to end this one, and not go into the reaction I got when I gleefully wore the bindi. That feeling is just as poignant. I get why she did what she did. Everything she put upon me was about everything she didn't have and didn't know how to ever be. All that anger and rage making it impossible, yet because of that impossibility. Similar shit happens to us all, and it really sucks ass.
Gosh, the audience on the Wiggles looks so lackluster.
The kids look so tired and dazed. The parents look irritated. Geez
Woah, I just contemplated on whether or not to put a period after "geez". It drove me crazy not to.
Well, since I'm so obviously looking for an endiong, a closing point.....
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